poniedziałek, 23 kwietnia 2012

I still fear

You r going back to your room after a wonderful day , full of compliments from the people around have flooded you with, and you;re seeing this horrible creature you dont even remember the name of and you r getting totally petrified. All of those paralyizng and disquieting feelings come straight across you with double strenght. You want to survive, you obviously know you have to either run as far as your feet might get you, or kill the bug. I didnt want to kill the bug, I was too afraid of a single thought being bit by it. I didnt kill the bug, my flatmate did it although she suffers from the same phobia as me.At that certain moment i realised how much I fear to die. Killing? for me killing is even worse than dying. I can;t understand guys who want to be soldiers to defend their countries. Why they are even called themselves heroes?What the hell are you defending?Inhumanity? How can you kill someone and be proud of it. This is one of the things that occurs in life I will never obtain to get a grasp of by passing through my existence. Life is too complicated and when it gets better , and you r feeling kind of safe because ur surrounded only by good people and then you enter your room and you get a glimpse of that insect, and you think what if i died? I don;t want to die. Sometimes we put ourselves so down we dont even want to live,  but then when we are faced with death, we actually understand there are so many beautiful things in this world like love, cultural differences, family and compassion and the most important one - hope. I never one mine to burn out. And they say Iceland is insects-free...What the hell was it in my room then?

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