Icelandic weather is bi-polar.

Ok so it's half past 1 and I was woken up by an earthquake.It was very short lasting though. Not long ago but yesterday I could feel a gust of spring in the air. How wrong was I and how tremendously tricky the weather here seems to be. Iceland is bi-polar, undecided and changes its mind every now and then. So do lots of people here including myself. Early in the morning I went to the library and was watching a Danish ship with a mountain in the background. I was supposed to revise my knowledge for the exam, but I started drawing and then writing some things to my novel afterwards just to get distracted by a huge amount of snow 5 minutes later. Geez I'm a bit apprehensive what tomorrow is going to bring.

Let rip

One of my biggest aspiration in life is to become a novelist. I've set off from my country in order to travel 2 years ago and I've racked up hoards of inspirations, stories, feelings, different kinds of emotions and my own personal discoveries. I mentioned once I was a buddhist some time ago. In buddhism your goal is to get enlightened. I've felt enlightened several times in my life already but it's very easy to loose that feeling. My major problem is that I'm indiligent and I lack perservance in what I'm doing. I feel like a molecule floating over the surrounding reality but I'm still confined by the rules, law, diseases and other people's perceptions. I know that amount of energy stashed in my chakras is so powerful that I can handle everything I will have to face during my life on earth. I feel enlightened when I write. Clashes of words , signs, ideas. Impulses of brains going through my veins. Unstoppable. I'm a bad talker , but I'm a good listener and beholder and if you put an effort into knowing me, I'll take you for a journey of yapping away about everything. I'm an artist but nobody knows me because I create for myself. I still need some time to get into terms with myself as I'm somewhow still unable to contribute. I'm not yet into sharing. Very often I regret my decission of coming to Iceland ....Today I think I've grown up enough to say that although I haven't neither enough of opportunities nor good companions to travel so far, I anticipate that I'm in love with Iceland and I've been cowarding away before , sort of backing out from admitting it. Today I'm making one steep at a time and I'm in a state of peace with myself. I'm a buddhist again and I'm going to fight off every commitment, commitment that I invested in myself. I want to fully endure my life to be a writer. Honestly I'm not that kind of novelist that is capable of making things up. I need to feel and I transform emotions into texts.

Icelandic hallowen

Yesterday it was Öskudagur (ash-day) known as Icelandic halloween. When kids dressed up in costumes go around the shops and sing to get some candies. I was in Landsbankinn waiting for my friend when I saw first group of children huming Adele's "Someone like you". Even clerks were disguised.  One might say bunch of annoying brats loafing around and disturbing, but I really liked what I had seen. I wish I could be a kid again. What is funny when you're a kid you want to be a grown-up and the opposite when you're already a grown-up you wish to turn the clock back. Return to the past. Impossible and they keep on saying nothing is impossible. Apparently its a bullshit. I know from my own experience haha. Yesterday I was in Stofan and I picked up relaxing tea to drink (Eg aetla ad fa te- this is what I mastered to pefection so now at least I can order tea in Icelandic ). On my tea's bag it was written "The world is based on hope" whereas my friend got another 'tea message' that reads " Real happines lies in that which never comes or goes but simply is". I need to stop putting things off for tomorrow and go to the doctor as my health is a bit down recently.

My life could be a best-selling book

I honestly don't have time for anything. I'm always on the run. My life has altered. As a result of this rapid change the amount of stress has highly increased. I'm dog-tired. At full speed. On the other side it feels as if I had stopped learning. My English has worsened and I'm not even going to mention my poor Icelandic skills. Maybe I'm too demanding or I have my head high in the clouds. My mind is shredded. I'm waiting for some things to appear but there is no end in sight. I can't cut myself some slack until they come. I'm confused, I'm diffused. I invested my trust in some people, that are not worth it. They let me down , but only because i expected. Expect or not to expect anything?This is a good question. If I get what I'm waiting for, I swear to God that I consider to be truth, I'll never make the same mistakes again.

Informal relationships

Cultural differences are like an invisible thread entangled and twisted somewhere between the cells of our brains. Reykjavik is a place where strong ties between partners are hardly to be seen. People live together but at the same time they are far away from each other keeping the so called distance, which is not accessible for you. Anyway I just finished reading "Angels of the Universe". I'm stoked tired of trying to guess what people think, reading between the lines. I just want to engross myself in work, books and sleeping. The winter is back again. My English is so plain today. Whatever.

I know that I know nothing

I finally went out of town for my mid-term training. As soon as we arrived we went caving. I didn't have neither proper shoes nor gloves and it was very slippery and soggy inside, but at last I accepted the challenge. At the end we all turned off our lights and experienced complete and eternal darkness. I was scared to death at the beginning, what made me realise how much I want to live on this earth and how real life seems to me that I cannot even imagine myself dying. Instinct of survival is so firm that it sort of compels you to do things you've never thought you're be capable of doing. Adrenaline the best incentive ever.  Life is strenuous sometimes and you set up yourself goals , you struggle to make them happened although at the end of your journey you just kick the bucket, pass away into infinite emptiness and being absorbed by blackness. You reach terminus with your one way ticket just as the cave I've been climibing through - ONE WAY. People and life and religions and politics they all confuse you. Soon you discover there is not such a thing as truth and hypocrisy is something considered to be normal . The end justifies the means. I don't want to be like that and I couldnt care less. I've been stressing out definitely too much lately.

Englar alheimsins

Today at work one of the guests made me aware of the fact that downstairs in the house where I live and work there is a painting hanging ,which was created by Pálmi Örn Guðmundsson, the main character of the novel and movie based on thereof "Angels of the Universe". The novel was widely hailed through critics and won the Nordic Council Literature Prize. The author of the novel happens to be Palmi's brother.
At this point of my life I feel moved and caught by that poignant story of an extremely smart and gifted person that Palmi was. He was different, one may say he was a haunted lunatic but it's not true...Working with mentally disabled people , taught me that most of them are more smarter than we 'normal'*this is a relatively subjective term* folks are. Yesterday Bjork noted on her fbook profile " there are certain emotions in your body that not even your best friend can sympathize with , but you will find the right film or the right book , and it will understand you . " 

Angels of the Universe excerpt :
"Yes, I know old Adolf {Hitler} killed lunatics, but don't forget he was just putting into practice what a lot of people think."
"Schizophrenia is deeply rooted in the Icelandic character. Look at all that belief in elves and spirits, ghosts and trolls.It's evidence of a split personality."

I highly encourage you to either watch the movie or read the book or preferably both.

painted by Palmi

Battery is charged

I was busy the whole weekend - working, meeting friends, partying, doing laundry, cleaning and reading a book. Conclusion - I've managed to do much more than when I wasn't occupied with anything. I let some steam off. I feel relieved. I'm ready for this upcoming week - my voluntary job-I'm cooking on wednesday :D, mid-term training and language course :D. I'm tired as hell I might have anaemia but I'm not going to give up neither to any disaese(im armed with my iron pills) nor to any other undentified factor. I'm UNDAUNTED. I'm like a phoenix from the ashes.

SATURDAY:
So after I finished at work I went downtown with my dear friends to Bakkus. They played soundtrack from 101 Reykjavik and then me and my friend noticed a guy who resembled an actor who played a main role in the movie. So -me -already-tipsy came up to him and said
x Would you mind if I ask you a stupid question?
o No , go on
x- Have u played in 101 Reykjavik the movie?
o- Yes, Where are you from ?
x- Guess
o yhmmm Australia?
x nah Poland
o Really?You look everything but not Polish

I went away afterwards but he tried to approach me again and bought me a beer and then after some time it turned out he is not Hilmir Snær Guðnason  but his brother - at least he claimed so. The funniest thing on earth is later in the night I had to face his gf lol. So it felt a bit like playing in my own version of 101 Reykjavik, the same soundtrack, sort of a deflected story and different cast. Plus happy ending hahah. Ok time to go out and  eke out an existence haha! Have a good Sunday FOLKS

I love this book as much as the movie.

An appointment with Mr President

Last month I met the president of Iceland Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson. Me and the other volunteers were invited to his residency

President's collection of books about Poland