excursion

That awkward moment when you don't know with what to begin writing your post...So I finally went for a trip to Hveragardi... We set off around 11 o clock, sun was shining ,the weather was quite nice. Suddenly we realised that actually we were going the wrong direction and instead of being in Hveragardi in 40 minutes we ended up somewhere near Selfoss, with almost finished petrol and I was worrying sick since I had to be back in Reykjavik around 6. Anyway despite of some inconvenience we arrived in Hveragardi *eventually* and started hiking to the hot spring. It was such a muddy way and it turned out that the water wasn;t that hot. The stream was either scrochingly hot in some areas or freezingly cold. Nothing in-between. On our way back I started jumping over the mud puddles and suddenly I fell down , moreover my shoe got stuck in the mud therefore I was struggling quite a while to pull it out. Later in the day me , Maria and Sam(a new volunteer from America) had a little party, we were drinking , talking a lot and then went downtown afterwards. We had a blast painting the town red apparently not on the next day. The biggest hangover plus muscle aches. Oh yeah I should definitely be going to the gym.

me and 3 German speaking people, another one took this photograph :)

sun is shining

I've been mentioning how nasty Icelandic weather can be , it has its tantrum every 5 minutes.  I know its very easy to find fault with the weather but srsly aren't you much more motivated and energized when it's sunny outside? Of course you are. I'm in my office right now trying to prepare a text in Icelandic since my co-worker s going to make a short video for Gedhjalp's photoblog tomorrow. Aside I'm reading "The Reluctant Fundamentalist" by Mohsin Hamid. I need to stop bothering myself with fears of making mistakes because it puts me in a deadlock. Without commiting mistakes one can't learn anything. So let's do as many wrong things (don't silent your common sense though) as possible and get enriched with experience.

bottled up emotions

I rarely cry since I've been living here but today it was probably the last straw I could  handle. So I gave up and tears started falling down my face. No shoulder to cry on, all you can do is carry on. I'm full of contradictionary feelings. On one hand I miss my country but at the same time I don;t want to go back. On the other hand these overwhelming emotions are just a cosequence of not knowing what I'm longing for
. Unfortunately time is running to my disadavantage.

Polish film festival in Bio Paradis

Polish movies to be screened in Bio Paradis from 23rd till 27th of March .  Admission is free but due to limited number of seats, it;s better to make a reservation either on midi.is or in the cinema. Are you coming ?:) No schedule is available yet but so far I know that movies which gonna be shown are :
"Różyczka", "Wszystko co kocham", "Erratum and Matka Teresa od kotów",

;)

Today me and my Polish girlfriend we were discussing cultural differences when it comes to all of those games you have to play with guys to get them  more attracted to you and apparently we came to a conlusion that at least we both are very bad at them and we often follow our emotions. I think we are really close to latin mindset though.  My opinion is  that Icelandic guys' perception's on Polish girls might be that we're very clingy and pesky, which is not true , we are just spontanious and very romantic as if we were living our life in a fairy tale. Icelandic girls seem to be very i-couldnt-care-less types, just on par with guys. They can distinguish love from sex. The more I'm in Iceland,  The more I realise that I don't want to be tied down by any relationship and I actually figured out that when I'm really into a guy I become slightly obsessive whereas when I'm single I'm much more encouraged and eager to care about developing certain skills and do things that could enrich me either physically or spiritually. I don't want to be ever distracted by any guys again but how to turn off the button telling you it's not possible to be totally emotionless. Hard nut to crack. Maybe it's a good idea to start reading criminals instead of tears jerker books? Icelandic society defintely taught me how to become self-sufficient. What I admire in their attitude is that they rather prefer to be creative than to invest themselves in such a thing as love is. Living on an island is very taxing, I need to travel first in Iceland since Ill still be living here till September and then all over the world. The best way to avoid commitment is to travel as when you are always on the run , you notice that everything fleets and there is no need to be roped by things ,which appear to be real, when they are not. Satisfaction ,which comes our from making your dreams come true is worth your effort way much more than any guy is. Especially Icelanders. If men are to be the most tangled and complicated creatures in the world . Icelanders beat any other nationality . Bara ad grinast ;) .

ahh

When you 're abroad it's slightly easier to make mistakes , do stupid things and regret them afterwards. How many times I've gone through this here and I'm almost 100 percent sure such things wouldnt have happened If had been still living in my country. We are always concerned what other people will think about our deeds and no matter how hard we try to admit we don't give a s*** how do they perceive us , we always end up thinking about it. BALONEY. Human kind. I always face that dilemma if I rather should say or put into action what I feel and think or just to leave it for myself. ANYWAY you will always regret either that you didn't do sth or that u actually did it. What's the point? Sometimes I just sit and ruminate about what does it mean to be a human ? Apparently (it also refers to me no no I;m not any better than you) we all have this dualistic nature. I also want to mention Kony 2012 campaign. Media the most powerful tool in the world. Tool that manipulates, infulences and tells you what should you think of , what is socially appropriate,what's not, what should you eat , what movies you have to watch. PROPAGANDA. Hidden propaganda not as visible as it was during the soviet era, but maybe much more dangerous because we'r not cognizant of it. Media can also work for the common good but one has to be aware of it and not only limited by media as the only source of information. I rest my case.

Again sort of inspired by the stormy weather.

Infused by the weather

It was.....
an alliance of two lovers' dalliance
suddenly
unexpectedly
intensively
passionately
almost fictitious
but happened
and is now gone
blowing in the wind with his name rustling around
flying far off
running away
I'm still waiting , standing in the pouring rain
no trace
just this echo floating in space
ruffling
fading away
and I acknowledge the truth
It won't befall
As he vanished into the night
Was he a figment of my imagination?
My own creation?
I'm yearning to see him again
Let the time slowly efface my bruises
I'm not  one of his muses

Merry-go-round

6 months passed. How do I feel about it? I don't know. Before I came to Iceland I was a slightly different person. It all has changed as soon as I arrived in Reykjavik.  Maybe I should have preserved my "Polish" spirit a way better. Icelandic culture and lifestyle are very difficult to adapt to especially still being enrooted in symbolism charactersitic for Eastern Europe. I come from a country that was wipped off  the world's map for almost 128 years, was repressed and embattled. Following the stereotypes which contain a grain of truth. I would say Polish people are unsure, tend to feel guilty at times and very emotional and melancholic. I'm not going to criticise Icelandic lifestyle again because it would be extremely shallow and superficial basing all of the judgements upon gossips and subjective feelings. People never go deeper, they can't be bothered to discover the real nature of things for it's too taxing. I will never judge people again. Who am I to do that?