czwartek, 19 stycznia 2012

I'm confused but it doesnt really matter

I wish I could fill this blog with fairylike pictures and illustrations of beautiful  Iceland but apparently it is my stepping stone also sort of a getaway from all of the negative energy the world and its people(including myself) transmit into the atmosphere. I'm sort of tired of living in Reykjavik, I definitely have some feelings for this city  but at the same time there is sth 'toxic' about our relationship. Today one of the 'guests,clients' [very clever one] looked at me and said " I have a hunch that you won't really leave Iceland". Well I'm not so sure. I wonder if I could find a job here since being a Pole its not an easy lot. Poland is not the most beloved country in the world. I would say nobody gives a shit about Poland unless we talk about people who are very bright and know sth about my country. I tried to speak some Icelandic today but I still find it so hard. Do you know that feeling when out of the blue youre just stressing out your hands are shaking and your mind goes blank? Its a symptom of fear of being judged. But it's only you who is judging. I'm insatiable for knowledge these days that's why I've become dilligent and turned into a nerd (not a fervent one though). I want to learn Icelandic. My language course has started . I like it it's not only an opportunity to learn the language but also to meet new,interesting people. I'm still confused about if I want to stay here longer or not. I don't have any idea. I can't picture myself living in Reykjavik, far away from my country, my friends and since the flights are very expensive I don't think I would be able to visit my homeland very often. In contrary to London If I'm to move there, I could go to Poland every now and then. Ahh I don't know I also don't like Icelandic boys . I need to admit I do find them attractive but the way they behave. So rampant and superficial no patience for them. Ok I picked them up to pieces. Sorry guys. Iceland is a great country when you're a tourist and you have possibilities to travel around. At the moment I don't think I could travel here because I do not hold a driving license....otherwise it's very expensive. I feel glued to downtown Reykjavik. I wish I could explore Iceland more because it's undoubtedly one of the most beautiful countries in the world. Looking forward to Summer! ahh and srsly I'm so tired of people being suprised I'm Polish.....Yes I'm and I'm proud of my heritage.

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